Autism South Africa and Jail4Bail

**Public Service Announcement**

Imagine being imprisoned, trapped inside your own world. Watching the world go by, unable to reach out, unable to connect. Trying to tune into the frequency of the rest of the world, but all you hear is a distorted cacophony of sound. Faces, objects and sounds make up a nightmare world and leave you with fear and confusion. Your outside world becomes chaotic and frightening.

Now try and imagine spending every waking hour of your life in this world. It is too much, so you withdraw into a safer world inside your own self.

Autism a developmental disorder that affects one in every 158 children under the age of 6. Autism is a Spectrum Disorder, therefore a person may be severely affected or mildly affected. No child with Autism is the same as the other. It therefore requires specialised and individualised education for the person to progress and reach their full potential.

Pic_left_2 But the reality is that for many underprivileged South Africans children, their Autism goes undetected and untreated. South African Society still regards children with disabilities as incapable, ill and a burden on society. More than 80% of African children with disabilities live in extreme poverty in inhospitable environments. They have very poor access to appropriate health care facilities and early childhood development opportunities. Such children are less likely than their siblings to attend school, to go on outings, to experience situations where they have to solve problems or contribute to household chores. As a result they grow to be disempowered adults, unable to make decisions, solve problems and take initiatives. Children with disabilities fear and experience exclusion from a very young age. Although the parents of children with disabilities have a special and specific role to play in the development of their children, mothers (especially) of children with disabilities often face ostracism from their partners, their families and their communities. The exclusion badly affects other non-disabled siblings, the survival of the family as a unit and the meaningful development of the disabled child.

A human rights and development approach to disability has significant implications for the way in which we provide education for the nation. It is estimated that almost 70% of children with disabilities of school-going age are presently out of school. This naturally results in illiteracy and low skills amongst adults with disabilities, contributing significantly to high levels of unemployment.

Gerhard_in_jail_2 One father has made it his mission to raise awareness and funding for this cause. Gerhard Pieterse is a father of three children, one of whom has Autism . Instead of just standing by, he decided to do something that would highlight the plight so many children with Autism face.

Dubbed "Jail4Bail", the concept involves the ‘imprisonment’ of Gerhard in a single cell, placed in the middle of a shopping mall. “We would like to break down the barriers that people with Autism face on a daily basis.  Autism is a part of our world, not a world apart.”

With a "bail" set at R1 million ($130,000) to raise funds for the development of children and adults with Autism, Gerhard is has so far raised R500 000 in 65 days ($60,000) and a phenomenal amount of awareness to the general public.

If you want to contribute to this amazing cause (and help Gerhard get out of his jail cell to be reunited with his family!!), click on the Autism Western Cape site – there is an option to make a credit card donation there.

For more info on Gerhard and his amazing campaign, check out the Autism Western Cape website.
The_jail_cell_2


Black Work

Race is still a very sensitive in this country, for obvious reasons. I wish we could say that race is not an issue and we are all colour blind, but like a deep wound that is only now starting to heal, the area is still very bruised and quite sensitive. I have lots of hope for future generations, but this generation still proceeds with caution.

(And much to my dismay and deep despair, there are still some racist assholes in this country who keep perpetuating the pain. I have very strong feelings about this, but I will contain myself)

Anyway, so back to my story. Both Adam and Kate have only ever known a life with Rose in it. When we speak about families, and how our family is made up, they always include Rose. Our family has a mommy, a daddy, an Adam, a Kate and a Rose. Not a nanny, a Rose.

Rose and I have tried to find out from them what they think a Rose is. What is a ‘Rose’? But they don’t understand the question, all they know is Rose and Rose is Rose.

So the four of us were chatting at the kitchen counter the other day, and we were talking about families. About one day when they were bigger and would have their own children. Adam said he was going to be a daddy one day, and have onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten children and a mommy and a Rose. So Rose said to him, “but what is a Rose? What work does a Rose do?” And Adam answers ‘black work’.

Well, I nearly bloody died!! Black work!!! OMG, the child is saying black people must do black work!! Where does he get that from! I have never said that to him, we have never even spoken about black and white. I was so embarrassed.

And then he carries on talking, “and I am going to do green work, and Kate will do pink work”.

Rose and I just burst out laughing.

(BTW, Marko doesn’t do a specific colour work, his work is to “smack lions”. Where the child gets that from, I have no idea. Must have been all that dope I smoked in my pregnancy)

I wonder whether the answer ‘black work’ would have sparked the same kind of anxious reaction in another country. Would it have? The scars run so deep here that we are so sensitive to it. So overly careful not to cause offence, so quick to look for it. 

PS Apparently I do black work as well.

No one is entirely sure what exactly is involved in 'black work', but it obviously doesn't include smacking lions

Announcing Nurture Surrogacy Program

Nuture2hearts_cropped

Nurture is growing – Announcing Nurture Surrogacy Program

Nurture is thrilled to announce that we are expanding our offering to include surrogacy as well. The program will be managed by the newest member of our team, Kim Lazarus, herself a veteran of 17 IVFs.

Based on our current highly successful model, we intend providing a select database of top quality potential surrogates to our network of fertility clinics, doctors and future parents.

In addition to our existing network of first class fertility clinics, we have partnered with the country’s top surrogacy professionals, ensuring that our surrogates and future parents’ social, medical, psychological and legal needs are taken care of. We will stick to what we know best – finding, recruiting, selecting and supporting the potential surrogates and leave the rest to the experts.

We look forward to continuing our excellent relationship with you and all the other people who are passionate about this wonderful world of giving chance to dreams.

For more information about the surrogacy program, please contact Kim at kim@nurture.co.za or 0832619956, or log on to www.nurture.co.za

 

 

Highly Addictive Personality

I am not sure whether this leans more towards my OCD tendencies, or the highly addictive side of my personality, but I always do every thing intensely and in excess. It must be exhausting being my friend / mother / sister / husband / child. It is exhausting being me sometimes.

When we all did casual drugs, I always had to have MORE, get MORE wasted. When I went to gym (a distant memory), I got totally hooked and went for hours a day, sometimes even twice a day. When we were younger, I always ate all my sweets up at once. Gobble gobble gone. Annoyingly, Sister Mel used to save half of hers and then eat the rest in front of me later on when mine were gone. I swear she used to get an indecent amount of pleasure out of that.

When I was in Grade 10 I decided I would see what it would be like if I actually opened a book to prepare for an exam, and from being hidden in the middle, I came in the top 10 in the grade. The next year I went back to not caring. Always more, most. Best / worst.

Well, I am addicted again. My sister, the person who probably knows me better than most, spotted it. I suppose it was hard to miss. I brought my laptop to a fashion show / morning tea event at her church. (What! I thought that if there was a break in proceedings, I could get a bit of work in!)

I am addicted to work at the moment. More specifically, my new project Nurture. It is all I want to do – I LOVE it. I am up late at night, after the kids have gone to bed, working, and then I especially wake up early in the morning so that I can get a few hours in before they wake up. Workworkwork. It is completely intimidating for my partners. Emails at all hours of the day, multiple projects on the go. Go go go.

It is not even just Nurture, I am on such a high at the moment, I feel as if I can take on the world. And I have just launched a new project as well!

Poor Rose, she came inside the other morning at 7 and I had already done a load of washing, packed stuff in the dishwasher, tidied up….I love living on this nervous energy I have, I love the buzz. But I know it must be a pain too. I’ve tried relaxing, but relaxing makes me anxious. I find relaxing to be a terrible waste of time. (I spent my 24 hours away working, and it was DIVINE! I got so much done and I felt so great afterwards. Working is my way of relaxing)

Apparently there is a thing called moderation. I’ve heard about it, but I’ve never actually seen it person.

I hereby nominate my husband as Employee of the Month

As you will know from reading my blog, I am not shy to say when my husband is being behaving like an industrial strength enema. While it doesn’t that happen often, when it does it can be particularly unpleasant for all concerned.

But credit where credit is due, the man has been a super hero for the last while. I am having lots of fond thoughts about him. 

A more cynical person might assume the reason for all these fond thoughts is because he has been away for most of the week on business, and I have just come back from 24 hours of fabulous ME TIME, but they would only be partly right. (Absence really does the heart grow fonder!)

Truth is, he is being a total winner at the moment, and not only I have nominated his as First Runner for the Employee of the Month Award – August 2008, I thought it only fair to tell all of you as well.  I came home this morning to a tidy house, fed children and happy faces.  I am rather fond of that chap.

As a reward for his outstanding contribution, he will get a beautifully framed certificate to display in his office as well as a bloody good shag. 

I am so excited; I think I might have just peed in my pants a little

What is more delicious than a romantic weekend away at a luxury resort? What is more exciting than a shopping spree with someone else’s credit card? What is even better than finding a forgotten hundred bucks in the pocket of an old pair of jeans? 

I’ll tell you what is better than all of that, and more….. A night away ALL BY MYSELF!! That’s right my dear friends, a full 24 hours ON MY OWN.

I am so excited, I can barely contain myself. 

I found a little boutique hotel five minutes away from home, which BY CHANCE just happens to offer spa treatments as well. I have a massage booked for 2pm, but other than that, I am going to spend the ENTIRE day, all by myself, bra-less, in my comfy pants and sheepskin slippers . I am going to pack a picnic basket with tomato chips, dip, biltong, chocolate, wine and other delicious snacks and spend the entire day at my laptop, catching up. I am going to soak in a hot bath for an hour, read a whole magazine from start to finish, drink more than TWO glasses of wine, and fart in bed to my heart’s content. Besides getting up to pee at least once, maybe twice at night, I am going to sleep through the entire night lying spread-eagled diagonally across the bed. No snoring husband, no calling kids. But best of all, I am going to do all of this on my own, in absolute silence! 

I can’t WAIT!!! 

My husband’s online addiction

The whirring of the computer gives him away. He is online again, surfing those sites. He tilts the screen away from me so that I can’t see what he is doing, but I know that look in his eye – part lust, part guilt. Full on longing. 

As image after image downloads, I see his eyes dart furiously across the screen, looking, lusting, searching. Searching for what? He knows he can’t ever get it, but perhaps the thrill lies in the fantasy, the wild dream of what could be.

“Why do you do it to yourself?” I ask. “You know how I feel about it; you are only making it harder for yourself.” He says I don’t understand, I’ll never understand. It’s a male thing, he tells me. It’s part of their DNA. No matter how much they love what they have; there is a part of them that always wants more. 

He says it is harmless, he is just looking. It doesn’t mean anything, he says, but how can I be sure? How do I know he won’t take the next step? How do I know that in a moment of weakness, all that lusting and longing might turn into action?

I’ve told him I will leave him if that happens. We are NOT getting a new car, we can’t afford it and we don’t need it, I don’t care how much of a bargain it is. Damn you Autotrader for feeding my husband’s car obsession, damn you! 

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